i noticed that i'm currently using 48% of the allotted memory on gmail account, so i decided to go back a-ways and delete some stuff. i've had this thing for going on five years, which is sort of shocking, given that i initially only created it to apply to grad school. was it really so long ago that my ambitions were to be a writer and a professor, to give counsel to troubled teenagers?
i got distracted and found a thread between my best friend and myself. a lot of our correspondence reads like love letters. in this thread, i included a poem (below) i wrote for an advanced poetry workshop during my last semester of college. i remember, after my experience with that particular professor, i decided i needed to take a break. i haven't written a poem since, and looking back, it's hard. there was a time when i identified as a poet, when i would continue to be a poet.
and then i just stopped, in much the same way i stopped being a musician. now i'm a photographer. i wonder what i'll be ten years from now and wish i could be all of those things at once.
i remember this poem being really difficult for me. it invokes my best friend and my second girlfriend (best friend's first love, in fact), and i guess you can see in it that i'd just discovered photography, too. the last stanza is awkward. regardless, there's something i really love about this poem, even if it is trite.
I keep finding letters you've written,
And then there's your smile in a glossy black and white shot,
This distance is like death and your smell has faded